20041229

HOLY F@#K

THESE ARE GODS



Did you know why in Indian language there is no equivalent for the above exclamation or for any other phrase that contains the word f@#$ ? Well take a long hard look at the picture above, this a picture of one of the sculptures on the khajuraho temples. These sculptures depict gods and goddesses in all the coital positions described in the kamasutra. Ancient Indians used to consider the act of sexual intercourse to be sacred. What is the outcome of this act? The birth of a person who never before existed. So they considered it sacred and so there is no epithet in any Indian language that directly refers to the act of sexual intercourse.

20041226

TO MY LOVE

This universe is smaller in magnitude
Than the crush i have on you
When you are near
I feel I can conquer the world
When you are near
I feel complete
one look into your eyes
and i know i can achieve
all that i want to

you are the reason
i strive to become better than i am
you make me want to be a better man
as close to the best as i possibly can

when i am with you
i feel i can drop all my facades
i think, nay i know
that i am falling in love with you

i wait for the night
for the stars so bright
but they can never be compaired
to your brilliant eyes
one thing i will say
disregarding all advice
i will always love you
till the day of my demise

you are devine manna
to my soul
you are the only one who
makes my spirit a complete whole

in your presence i feel
like i can write an international bestseller
yea, compose and sing a global hit
in your presence i feel
like i am a winner

off late you are the reason i am alive
i begin the day with the thought of you
i retire for the night
with you on my mind
and in my heart

i have but one heart
please don't doom it to burn
i beg of you to please
love me in return

but if you chose not to reciprocate
i would love to remain your friend

whatever the outcome of my attempt
i must thank you for all that strength
induced by you into my spirit

20041225

THIS IS MY THEORY ON THE EVOLUTION OF THE CASTE SYSTEM.

As we walk around in out towns, what do we see? People. But these People are segregated into various groups. Engineers, scientists, artists, artisans, labourers, etc. What is this segregation basd on? Our occupation. We live in a society that is segegated based on what we do for a living. The society of india too did have this segregation of its society. We percieve the remenants of that system these days in what we call the caste system. But the standard argument against that theory is that its is based on heredity.Now, if a person would come into a crowded market square any place and at any time and say that certain types of people were to be considered to be of high birth and then define the hierarchy based on this, he would have been torn apart by a very angry mob.



Here is my hypothesis as to how the caste system came into being:



The creators first took into consideration the policy makers of the kingdom. They were ministers, royal councillors, village heads, judges, architects, engineers, in short those who used their brains to work. Now these people had immense scholastic aptitude which took atleast a decade to hone. This was a very difficult task as they had to live in gurukulas in forests and abstain from creature comforts. These people were given the highest position in the hierarchy of castes as the brahmins. Next came those whose scholastic aptitude was not all that great but had immense control over a perfectly coordinated musculature. These people were the warriors, martial artists, wrestlers, boxers, master swordsmen, kings, commanders of the royal army, etc. They too did not have an easy time getting to where they were in terms of physical aptitude. It did take the better part of a decade to develop a fair degree of coordination between mind, body and soul. So they were given the second place in the hierarchy as Kshatriyas. But taking into account the approximate equivalence in vitality to the kingdom of both these peoples, there isn't a clarity in discerning who exactly held the first and second position at the time of the creation of his system. Next came the traders, merchants, and anyone who bartered - and later when the concept of currency was discovered - bought and sold anything for profit in the markets. These people were given the third place in the hierarchy of the castes as the Vaishyas. Then came the Sudras, the people who had neither the mental aptitude nor the physical aptitude to be eligible for anythig other than labour.



I myself am a brahmin, and when I look about myself I do not see many of the so called Brahmins as being eligible to be in that caste. So I have drawn the hypothesis that the Brahmins of those days made their position at the top of the hierarchial order definite by making themselves indisposible in almost everything that they did. This they did by complicating all the procedures they were involved in and creating concepts of 'madi' which means the conncept of being spiritually clean and by excluding all the other people from the sources of knowledge. The next thing they did was to make this system hereditary in order to ensure that their progeny enjoyed the same respect and honour that they did irrespective of whether they were worth it or not.This last move was the most damning of them all as there can be no guarantee that if the parent has a high I.Q the offspring will too. The same goes for those with parents with low I.Qs. But this move was also the most difficult because it is one thing to create a system of segregation of people. but it is another to aspire to change the outlook of the entire population of life towards their fellow human beings and infinitely more importantly towards themselves.

20041223

MUSIC AND ME

To me, music is not just a mixture of various sounds that actually end up sounding good. Music is much more. I read a piece of music like you or anyother person would read a newspaper article or a book. The way a person sings to himself/herself when alone or when in deep thought distinctly reflects the type of person he/she is. Music is a glimpse into the person's soul into the emotions that he/she is experiencing. Music can comunicate more than words since you don't listen in a cursory manner but you listen to a piece of music with your heart. It has been scientifically proven that the same region of the brain that is responsible for you appreciation of music is responsible for your ability to think logically. And i found out that this is true since I can concentrate better when i am listening to music at a low volume.

Music is a way of communicating without letting language impede the flow of your emotions. Plain music is much more transmissive than music with words.

Yes I do listen to metal as in metallica and death metal as in sepultura. But there is one factor which allows me to listen to only these bands. These bands have the most balanced songs in the industry.By balance I mean that all the negativity they propagate through those songs, they have a sense of hope in either the words or the tune to balance it. Emotional balance is what is needed in this world of heightening tensions. That is propagated by these bands even though they are said to create 'negative' music.

20041217

THE DARK SIDE OF ME

the dark side of me









Somewhere

Deep inside a lair

A demon sleeps

A sleep not too deep



The lair is dark

With some faint light

Filtering through the deep dense gloom

Somehow it becomes awake

And moves through the lair like a wraith

Ever searching, a way to find

Out of the lair in which its confined



The bog on the floor doesn't bother it

Neither does the heavy fog engulfing it



Whenever I pass by

It looks me in the eye

Always threatening, but never strikes

Me it will never attack I don't know why



Its sole motive is to destroy

All that is made by the world



It can be destroyed by me alone

But I do not want it destroyed

Cos when push comes to shove

And battle lines are drawn

I choose a weapon for the fight

But I have neither guts nor heart

To put the weapon to any use

It is the demon who wages war

On our behalf



I keep him alive at times of peace

As he does me at times of war

And then the truth I realise

The lair is my mind

And the demon, my dark side.

ALMOST A SUICIDE LETTER

I don't know why off late

I feel like i am trapped in a cage

I know i am strong enough to break free

But there is something stopping me

I feel like an albatross that is meant to wander

But is locked behind golden bars

I want to set forth into the wild blue yonder

But everytime I try I get new scars

I talk to imaginary people

I argue for cases proven wrong

I dont know what is hapenning to me

And those who matter dont seem to understand

I know i will never commit suicide

But i did think of it more than a couple of times

I do want to take on the challenge called life

But i do too want to be given a fair chance

I am an optimist cos that is my nature

But i know an impossible situation when i see one

I am recognized as unusual

But still am measured against the stereotypical

I am no longer what i used to be

So please take into consideration the new me

When i had the heart to pull out yours i had no guts

And now when i have the guts i have no heart

I know i am in need of something but i do not know wha

tIt is you who should be helping me in finding that

But instead you have an illusion of me in your head

And you try to fulfill sthat illusion's needs in me

Do you know how much happiness writing this gave me?

How can you ever know you barely even know me.