I will die in...

I will die in peace in the mountains
While riding along their slopes
I don't want any perfumed fountains
Don't want to live with false hopes
I will die doing what I love most
Wandering far and wide
I will not be denied
That which I want most
Dearly
Just me, the road, my bike
A divine menage-a-trois
An orgasmic, long ride
And in my repertoire
The skills for every road
Every street that runs beneath
The wheels of my metal steed
And as part of my last rites
I want not lamenting cries
For I died at my chosen time
In my own chosen style
A metallic riotous fest
Should celebrate my death
Akin to Wacken Open Air
No weeping is needed there
For I have finally gone
To the place where I belong
And I finally am
At peace.

Hope

When the systems of yore have been purged
Whern all pathways have been broken
When into chaos we've all been merged
Something there is that still enables us
To stand
To land
Softly
Sans damage
Through carnage
Escape
Unscathed
Or fight
With the might
Of infinite heroes
Or die
With Heads
Held high
When all the lands seem infertile
And we see no avenues along our path
When the oceans of isolation surround the isle
Something enables us till the very last
To hang on
To the last
Tether
To pray
To hope
When all hope seems
Lost
Distraught
Distressed
With the last drop of blood
Fuelling the heart
Enabling us
To go on
Even while facing
A sure fall
In the face of failure
We strive on
Push forward
Bash on regardless
Hope to steal a win
From te jaws of
Defeat
Hope to stand tall
In the face of a fall
When the bastions of our ideals have been overrun
We still look forward to our day in the sun
And as long as we trust in the view of our minds eye
We stand a decent chance of making it through the night

NAUGHT

What know'th the man that know'th not loss
What know'th the man that know'th not naught
Why doth he cry when he doth not know
How life was when life was naught

How doth one love when one loves not
How doth one cry when one cries not
Why does the sky seem so near
When the sky is not, the sky is naught

In a sea of mirth one is submerged
In the river of sorrow doth one bathe
The sky of rage teaches one wrath
But does it, or does it not, all come to naught

When is naught not naught
But is naught not, naught but naught
Then how does one, that once was
Come from naught, return to naught

As one goes from naught to naught
One leaves behind marks on the path
Those are seen by those who follow
And one does not end up as naught

To A Special Someone

Darkness descends upon me.
I cant find my path.
My mind is clouded by rage.
My senses never relax.

I am constantly reminded
Of the failure that I am
I am always expected to fall
At every place one possibly can

I am treated like some kind of investment
Without a soul of my own
I have always been an embarrassment
To everyone I've known

But then I see your face
Something inside me calms
I can think straight again
And you set off no alarms
Whoever I meet
Triggers an alarm in me
Alerting me to something not right
Alerting me to a judgmental mind
But I sense none of that from you
And for this I am grateful

I guess I just wanted to say thanks
But that seems barely sufficient
Though this life may be ephemeral
My feelings for you are permanent


P.S.: This poem is not dedicated to any real person. Though she is real to me, the rest of the world will deem her a figment of my imagination.

We have screwed ourselves

I break down
My knees buckle under my own weight
But I gotta keep going on
Its not about looking good anymore
Its not even about living
Its about staying alive
About surviving

The will to live surpasses all else
But this urge doesn’t numb the pain
It just makes it easier to live with

Cry out for help
But none comes
Reach out in despair
But there’s nothing out there
To hold on to
As you find yourself sinking
Into this quagmire

You gotta run as fast as you can
To stay in the same place
They say
The “they” is the omnipresent collective
They tell you what to do
What is right and what’s not
They dictate your life
They own your soul

There are those who crumble
They turn to drugs
They fall apart
And sink into oblivion
They are the ones who
Are inherently weak
They are the ones who
Nevermind…

It’s a dog-eat-dog world
It’s a rat race
Its almost like saying
We are all dogs in a rat race
No wonder the world is such
A messed up place
For dogs do not belong
In an event meant for rats
Yet they are thrust into it
Like square pegs in round holes
Or round pegs in square holes
No matter how you put it
It makes no bloody sense

Re-enforce your knees with steel
You’ll need it to bear the pressure
Of a million dreams that do not belong to you
Weighing down upon your shoulders
On second thought
Re-enforce every load bearing joint
Your shoulders, spine, ankles and all
Lest you fall under the pressure
And get crushed by the dreams
That weren’t yours to begin with

One hears the adages
About dogs and rats
And one begins to wish
That one were a dog or a rat
For their lives seem far more uncomplicated
Compared to ours

We were meant to live
But we make do with existing
I have no idea what’s wrong with us
But something definitely is wrong

“Screw the world”
One is forced to shout
But that is hardly possible
For we need the world to survive
And the world ain’t to blame for this
Sorry state of ours
It is us
We are the ones who have
Confined ourselves in this metal coffin
And unlike wood,
One can’t even claw one’s way out of it
There’s only one conclusion to draw from this:

We have screwed ourselves,
And who can “unscrew” us?
We.

Metal

Rock sets you free
Metal is all about ecstasy
Classical is all about the soul
Music makes you a complete whole

Rock is all about pleasure and pain
Metal sets you on a higher plane
Rock makes you open your mind
And makes you forget the daily grind
Metal fills up your senses
And neither of the two has ever been
About false pretences

Classical connects with your soul
It gives you the gift of happiness
Metal too connects with your soul
But it takes you to a darker place
That is if you associate
Carnality with darkness

Metal and classical both
Enable one to tap one’s own
Primal energy
Its an energy that nature’s provided
To every beast it has spawned
It is something primordial
It is something spiritual
And it brings out the animal
In people

I see no difference
Between metal and classical
To me metal
Is just a more aggressive version
Of classical
For both these styles of music
Transcend your physical being
And touch the life force inside

To me metal is more than just music
It is a portal
A portal that takes me to a place
Where everything is the way I need it to be
According to my specifications
A place where I can think
A place where I can meditate
And conceptualize
And develop a better understanding
Of life
Metal and classical both
Put a lot of power in your hands
And that power
Is yours to channelize

You can use it to better your life
You can use it to ruin your life
You can use it to control your mind
The choice is yours
And that is the way it ought to be
For, of what use is it to be alive
When you don’t have charge of your life?
But a catch in that there is
For, to have charge of your life
You need to be able and wise
Or you might take your life
With your own hands
Crush it into oblivion

This is a power that can’t be explained
By science or any known knowledge
Except by the ancient wisdom that
Has been passed down to us through generations.
Immaterial of where you have originated from
Your folklore is filled with such things

This power can’t be otherwise explained
And that which can’t be explained
Cannot be controlled
And it is the neo-human nature
To fear that which cannot be controlled
And that is why metal has been deemed as evil

Many have taken advantage of this
And written blood-curdling lyrics
To metal songs
But
This music has always existed
In places of worship
It has been used to draw your concentration
“Dhyaana” as it is known
Towards the deity being worshiped
It is just the modern open-mindedness
That has brought this musical style
Out of the temple
And into the studio
And given it a name,
Metal.

Rock sends you
Soaring across the sky
Metal sets you
On an orgasmic high
And that empowers you
It can enslave you
But you have to make it
Empower you
You have to be its master
It should not be yours
You should tap all its power
And make that power yours.

Who Am I

WHO AM I
You wanna know
My name is Vedant
Thats all I've been told
For my knowledge of my family
Ends two generations ago
My grandparents and my parents
My parents and me
Thats all I've unraveled
Of my family tree

But is that all I am
The dead end of a lineage?
Oh no I am more
An individual in my own right

What means then
the capitalised question
the answer for to which
I haven't the faintest suggesion

Am I Just
Another name to burden your memory
Am I just another
Adition to general suffering
Or am I a person
With a purpose in life
To give and to take
All that I feel is right
How do I know
What I am for
For that I haven't been told
Prior to entering this world

Hell! I dont even remember
The time time when I arrived
How then would I know what
Those then there did profesize

Or is there a person
Behind all grand purpose
Waiting to emerge
From anonimity's darkness

I cannot answer
The question you asked
The answer will appear
When my life forms the past

Don't think that you
By me have been smitten
For I cannot read
What hasn't yet been written

AN ATTEMPT AT INSPIRING

I WROTE THIS FOR A VERY SPECIAL FRIEND OF MINE, GOD BE WITH HER

let not your courage fade
you have put up a good fight till date
it is such things that separate
the pretenders from the contenders
you are the latter i know
the one ahead of you is a long rough road
but this road must be taken
for going back is not your style
you will emerge victorious i know
and i will be right by your side
ignore all who tell you to stop
although they dont mean ill
but use your own powers of discretion
you will not fight this war alone
for we'll fight and we'll win

CRY OF DISPAIR

THIS IS A SONG I WROTE FOR MY ERSTWHILE BAND

MAKE SOME USE OF IT IF YOU CAN



Turned on the news today

But didn't wanna hear a word they'd say

What's goin on in the world these days

Isn't makin any sense anyway



Chaos is rulin the world

Everythin is lost in a whirl

The dark sides of our Psyches unfurl

Nuclear bombs at people they hurl



Chorus:

Tryin to make sense of this nonsense

Walkin through streets of Violence

Stop this mindless distruction

Tryin to find peace within my soul



People lookin on in dispair

As war cries fill the air

Tryin to make sense of a cold hard stare

Wonderin why n what went wrong n where



Dileneation of boundaries

As friend n foe territories

Electrified wire n heavily armed sentries

Constant reminders of the absence of peace



Chorus X 3

THE DARK LORD

The dark lord inspired
Nothing but fear
And fear for reason none
He was a kind of a recluse
And nothing of his past was known

He was called dark because
He arrived on a black moonless night
And bought the manor house
But none of those who did see him
Had ever seen his face

But those close to him knew
That he was a kind man
Though given to strange habits
That none could understand

He never had to fight a war
Even though he went in alone
The sight of his black armour and horse
Froze the hearts of his foes
With each inch of his advance
The enemy troops receded
When he'd had a word with the attacking lord
He and his troops retreated

Rumours there were of his being evil
But his subjects swore by him
For they knew in hard times as before
He'd lend a helping hand

One day as he was riding through
A forest in his domain
He'd heard the sound of merry laughter
Whose source he went to ascertain
He spied a lady of about one and twenty
About the same age as him
Sharing a light moment with some of his subjects
Though she was not one of them

When they saw the dark lord
They ran as though in fear
But she turned her steed to face him
And smiled at the hooded intruder

"Leave my land, outsider"
He wished to say to her
But the malice that he could summon at will
Wasn't anywhere near
Such was the effect she had on him
As he there defenceless stood
The only thing he could do voluntarily
Was to remove his hood

It was her turn to be surprised
As she did recognize his face
From a portrait in a book about
A mysterious long lost race
A race of lords which was long thought dead
When twelve years ago a king was betrayed
By his own general
It was said that the king was killed
Along with his whole family
And their remains burned
And ashes thrown into the sea

This was a race of kings and lords
Of which the dark lord was sole survivor

She turned and galloped as fast as she could
Back to her own domain

The dark lord went the next day
To the exact same spot
Hoping to see her again
As if by magic her heart beat faster
For she was already there

They alighted and moved toward each other
Nothing was said for over an hour
"I know your face." she said at last
Said he, "I wear a hood to hide just that."
"I ran" said he in answer to her
"I ran for days on end
I ran as long and as fast as I could
When I was a lad of nine
I dared not stop for more than a breath
For I knew I was being hunted
When I was in the dark forest
I ran out of energy and fainted
And awoke to find myself in a hut
Surrounded by worried looking people

They knew who I was but they
Had no affinity for wealth
So they decided not to hand me over
To the traitor

There I lived for eleven years
Learning all the dark arts
Of controlling peoples minds without
Their knowing of it
And putting mortal fear into peoples hearts

I came here to recalaim my rightful throne
I wear a hood so that I am not known
For who I am
Till the last moment"

They met in the woods everyday
For over a month
During which he'd added to his palace's defences
But once he brought her to his abode
And her presence
Banished all the gloom once and for all
Now this is a palace fit for a lord
But you my lady are a goddess

But one day she failed to come
He began to worry about her absence
As he was leaving his palace one morn
To go to her domain and see her
Three lords, his neighbours
Came for his help
They had lost in battle against the traitor

The dark lord's domain was small
Controlling just one town
But he was all that stood
Between the traitor
And his lady's land

The dark lord rode into battle
With his neighbours and their troops

The two armies were within sight of each other
The dark lord's forces were outnumbered
By a factor of ten
The battle began
But the dark lord rode out alone
Suddenly storm clouds gathered
Lightning bolts fell on the enemy troops
And the survivors were sucked into the soil
No one survived

Then he learned of his lady
She was the traitor's prisoner
He crushed the golden goblet in his hand
And his rage melted the gold
His breath came out as steam
He set off on foot
His lady to redeem
Np creature on earth
Moved as fast as he

As he approached the fort
The defences and ramparts
Were blown apart
By huge torandoes
And all the guards were struck by lightning

He walked in
There was his lady
And there was the traitor
With sword drawn and ready

The dark lord advanced
Looked the traitor
In the eye
And froze him
In fear
The traitor fell
To the ground
And stopped breathing.

He took his lady to his palace
They were married
And he to all
His identity revealed

He ruled for long
As a righteous king
His darkness wasn't gone
But merely hidden

TO MY LOVE

This universe is smaller in magnitude
Than the crush i have on you
When you are near
I feel I can conquer the world
When you are near
I feel complete
one look into your eyes
and i know i can achieve
all that i want to

you are the reason
i strive to become better than i am
you make me want to be a better man
as close to the best as i possibly can

when i am with you
i feel i can drop all my facades
i think, nay i know
that i am falling in love with you

i wait for the night
for the stars so bright
but they can never be compaired
to your brilliant eyes
one thing i will say
disregarding all advice
i will always love you
till the day of my demise

you are devine manna
to my soul
you are the only one who
makes my spirit a complete whole

in your presence i feel
like i can write an international bestseller
yea, compose and sing a global hit
in your presence i feel
like i am a winner

off late you are the reason i am alive
i begin the day with the thought of you
i retire for the night
with you on my mind
and in my heart

i have but one heart
please don't doom it to burn
i beg of you to please
love me in return

but if you chose not to reciprocate
i would love to remain your friend

whatever the outcome of my attempt
i must thank you for all that strength
induced by you into my spirit

THE DARK SIDE OF ME

Somewhere

Deep inside a lair

A demon sleeps

A sleep not too deep



The lair is dark

With some faint light

Filtering through the deep dense gloom

Somehow it becomes awake

And moves through the lair like a wraith

Ever searching, a way to find

Out of the lair in which its confined



The bog on the floor doesn't bother it

Neither does the heavy fog engulfing it



Whenever I pass by

It looks me in the eye

Always threatening, but never strikes

Me it will never attack I don't know why



Its sole motive is to destroy

All that is made by the world



It can be destroyed by me alone

But I do not want it destroyed

Cos when push comes to shove

And battle lines are drawn

I choose a weapon for the fight

But I have neither guts nor heart

To put the weapon to any use

It is the demon who wages war

On our behalf



I keep him alive at times of peace

As he does me at times of war

And then the truth I realise

The lair is my mind

And the demon, my dark side.

ALMOST A SUICIDE LETTER

I don't know why off late

I feel like i am trapped in a cage

I know i am strong enough to break free

But there is something stopping me

I feel like an albatross that is meant to wander

But is locked behind golden bars

I want to set forth into the wild blue yonder

But everytime I try I get new scars

I talk to imaginary people

I argue for cases proven wrong

I dont know what is hapenning to me

And those who matter dont seem to understand

I know i will never commit suicide

But i did think of it more than a couple of times

I do want to take on the challenge called life

But i do too want to be given a fair chance

I am an optimist cos that is my nature

But i know an impossible situation when i see one

I am recognized as unusual

But still am measured against the stereotypical

I am no longer what i used to be

So please take into consideration the new me

When i had the heart to pull out yours i had no guts

And now when i have the guts i have no heart

I know i am in need of something but i do not know wha

tIt is you who should be helping me in finding that

But instead you have an illusion of me in your head

And you try to fulfill sthat illusion's needs in me

Do you know how much happiness writing this gave me?

How can you ever know you barely even know me.